Spiritual Development July 2018
Wisdom for Relationships
One of sin’s greatest rebellions is our repeated refusal to listen and submit to the wisdom of God revealed on every page of his Word. Dr. Paul Tripp offers the following insight regarding how we can flourish in relationships by submitting to the wisdom of God’s Word.
As I listened to them argue, blame, and graphically recount one another’s wrongs, all colored with hurt and anger, a sad thought gripped me. The vast majority of what they needed to hear in order for their relationship to be what God intended for it to be was clearly written in the Bible that they both said they believed. Their marriage was the sad casualty of their street-level unwillingness to listen to God’s wisdom and seek the grace he offered to live with one another in light of it.
Consider one passage loaded with essential relational wisdom: “[Live together] with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Eph. 4:2–3). Think about these wise guidelines for relationships:
1. “with all humility . . . ” Pride always destroys a relationship. It causes you to feel more entitled and to be more demanding than serving and giving. It drives you to insist on control. It makes you have to be right. It forces others to submit to your lordship. Pride is an anti-relational way of having a relationship. Humility is the godly way.
2. “and gentleness . . . ” Treating a person with gentleness makes him or her want to move near you. Responding with gentleness teaches another person that he or she is safe in your care. It is an essential relational bond.
3. “with patience . . . ” You cannot have a healthy communion with another flawed human being without being willing to wait. If you demand to have things your way and in your time, you are so busy loving yourself that you have little time left to love the other person.
4. “bearing with one another in love . . . ” Love requires that you be willing to be forbearing, that is, willing to suffer. Why? Because you are in a relationship with a less-than-perfect person, living together in a fallen world. Both you and that person often fail.
5. “eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit . . . ” Love means unity is more important to you than being right, having your way, and getting what you want. Love rejoices in the fact that God’s Spirit in both of you gives you a wonderful platform for unity.
6. “in the bond of peace.” Love means committing to make peace, not war.
There simply are no more-important relational commitments that you could cite. The husband and wife I mentioned above held this wisdom in their hands, but did not listen. Do you?