Dear Church Family,
A few Sundays ago, I experienced a morning that I will not soon forget. On Monday the following day our seven-year-old granddaughter, Gracelyn, would be undergoing serious brain and spine surgery. As I approached Sunday, a spirit of fear gripped my heart on that Saturday. Worry/fear crept in like a fog on me, and I couldn’t shake it.
When Sunday morning came, I made my way to the church to preach our three services as I have done for years. But I made one fatal mistake that I knew better than to make, but I made it anyway. Instead of sharing my struggle with a few others to ask for prayer, I decided to “power through” it on my own. I gritted my teeth and tried to preach through first service in the middle of battling against a spirit of fear that weighed me down.
It didn’t go well. My mind was distracted, my words stumbled, and my heart felt heavy. I could sense it, and I knew that those in first service could too. When the message concluded I apologized to the congregation and told them what had happened. I admitted my weakness and confessed how I had tried to handle fear in my own strength rather than leaning on the prayers and support of the body of Christ.
In that moment, our worship pastor Evan came up, put his arm around me, and led our church in prayer. It was a beautiful picture of what the church is meant to be like, a family that bears one another’s burdens and runs together to the throne of grace.
After the service, a group of men from that early service gathered around me and prayed for me. That moment was so humbling yet so helpful for me. I desperately needed that prayer support! I can honestly say that something changed at that moment. The spirit of fear lifted, and I experienced deep peace and freedom as I preached the next two services. I knew the truth of II Timothy 1:7.
“God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” — 2 Timothy 1:7
But I chose to handle my spirit of fear in my own strength. I should have asked others to pray for me, and for that matter I should have made it a matter of prayer on my own as well.
Andrew Murray states… “The enemy uses all his power to lead the Christian, and above all the minister, to neglect prayer. He knows that however admirable the sermon may be, however attractive the service, however faithful the pastoral visitation, none of these things can damage him or his kingdom if prayer is neglected”.
As I reflected on that morning, the Lord taught me several important lessons:
- We are never meant to face fear alone. God designed His church so that when one member suffers, the others come alongside in prayer and encouragement.
- Admitting weakness invites God’s strength. My freedom came not through trying harder, but through humbly confessing my need and receiving prayer.
- Prayer changes everything. The difference between the first service and second and third services wasn’t my preparation — it was the power of God released through the prayers of His people.
- God uses our vulnerability to strengthen others. What felt like failure in the moment became an opportunity for those in first
service to see the grace of God at work in the life of their pastor. I thank God for His grace!
I’m deeply grateful for each of you who prayed for me and for our family — and especially for those who prayed over me that morning. Gracelyn’s surgery has been a constant reminder that God’s grace truly is sufficient, and His people are one of His greatest gifts of that grace.
Thank you for being a praying, caring church family!
I love you and I love being your pastor!
